I listened to a radio show yesterday being hosted by a woman who wrote a book on connecting with loved ones who have passed.  She truly feels you don’t need a medium to make this connection. It’s easy, just talk to them and listen to what they have to say.  I do fully and wholeheartedly believe we all have the ability to connect with those in Spirit, but I also know it can be hard to get clarity and be objective when you are grieving.

There are two main types of mediumship: mental and trance.  Mental mediumship is telepathic communication from one consciousness to another.  It may be in the form of clairvoyance, clairaudience, or clairsentience; seeing, hearing, or sensing what the person in Spirit is trying to convey. Trance mediumship or channeling, is when the Spirit connects with the medium and they share mental and physical energies. Instead of just relaying the message, those in trance may speak with a different tone, inflection or manner of speech which is often markedly different from their normal speech patterns. Physical is a third type of mediumship which works with the energies of the medium to create physical evidence that everyone is able to see or hear. Examples would be table tipping, rapping sounds, smoke billets, or the manifestation of ectoplasm. This is a rarer form of mediumship more common at Spiritualist camps and churches.

Three basic reasons we want to connect with those who have passed are for evidence that there’s life after death, help finding closure, or peace of mind that they’re okay.  It’s good to wait a few months before trying to make a connection as this gives you some time for the intensity of grief to subside a bit as well as giving them time to figure out how to get through.

Before the reading, ask those you want to connect with to please try and come through but don’t put such strict limitations on what they need to show you for you to believe it’s them.  Skepticism is healthy but be open-minded.  Not too long ago I was doing a reading and the woman said, “That sounds so much like her but I told her to say a certain word if you were talking to her.  You didn’t say that word.” Describing what she looked like, other family members she was with on the other side, physical ailments,her odd sense of humor, and a cherished gift she had given were not enough evidence. (Damn, missed that one!)  Any reputable medium or psychic doesn’t want to give you a shoddy reading. The point is to help validate, support, bring comfort and solace. If it isn’t clicking for you, say something. Be honest rather than going through the whole reading and being disappointed.  If the person doing the reading gets a good hit, rather than trying to confuse them or play stump the psychic, let them know they’re on the right track so they can give you more depth. Sometimes I’ll ask if what I’m saying makes sense or to just answer yes or no.  This validates the information but isn’t asking leading questions that can influence the message.

You may want an apology, an explanation, or an answer to where specific documents may be. This can come through but it may not.  You may want to speak to your mother but an uncle, friend or grandparent may show up.  I highly recommend taking notes or recording your reading.  A lot of information might not make sense at the time but will later on.

When my mother was in intensive care, I advocated for the doctor to take her off the propofol so she could make the decision if she wanted to remain on life support.  Her greatest fears were “being hooked up to those damn machines” and ending up in a nursing home.  Both were exactly what was happening. Just over a year after my mother passed, a medium connected with her and she thanked me for helping her go. I was able to let go of the guilt and burden that I hadn’t made the right choice.  Before that, I had sensed her presence, seen signs, smelled her perfume, and had more $2.00 bills given to me in change than you can imagine.  She collected $2.00 bills and I would always save them to bring to her.  Did I think I’d done the right thing? Yes, in my heart of hearts, I did.  But emotionally and as a daughter, I couldn’t hear that no matter how many times I asked or talked to her. For me, I needed someone else to let me know she felt her wishes had been honored. If you find peace and healing through conversation with your loved one on the other side, that too is a beautiful and cherished gift.